Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
false alarm, still single
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
