think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize