Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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