BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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