How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
