mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize