remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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