What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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