well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
