remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
