she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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