Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
