Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
