I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
