are you still at the devil's house?
I cockslap morals
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize