She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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