We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just googled if crying burns calories
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
