im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
