Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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