I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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