I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
