we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
organizing the empties. That sober.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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