They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize