i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
