You're completely useless in the revolution.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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