Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
