I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
