I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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