OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
