3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
