omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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