I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
