just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
