I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize