Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
