I wannas sexs uuuuu
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
