I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
