I could have mohawked her pubes.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
