Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Are my feet made of real feet?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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