i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize