Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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