Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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