Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize