Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize