Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
