why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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