Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
