Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize
