a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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