Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
not ubering you a puppy
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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