If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
