Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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