**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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