that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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