I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
