my vag is so smooth its legendary
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
