it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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