Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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