Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
