It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
