I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Apparently you make a good broom.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
