Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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