we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
