Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
