there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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