I heard we made out
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
