I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
