You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
