Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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